POISON I DRANK FROM

by Bryan Free

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1.
VISION 04:15
i went awalkin a ramblin dream i came to a door in a wandering stream it piled up the current, folding the waves collecting in baskets the river i made this is a vision of the things that i love even in dreams i can’t get enough where am i going and what do i have what do i have to give up if i have to go back you were a guide that i met on the way kissing my mouth with the words of the saints holding me up in the current at night holding me up when i didn’t have the fight we are the homeless, the makers of time the lovers of being and the poets of lies we live in our bodies and we sidestep the shore walk into each other, the house of the lord this is a vision of the things that i love even in dreams i can’t get enough where am i going and what do i have what do i have to give up to get back
2.
JUST ACTING 03:26
we met in a movie we were pretending all this time not really you were convincing you even convinced me all this time just acting you made a good call kept it professional all along i could’ve sworn that you knew then when the names roll the audience goes home and we’re alone that’s when i realized that i was in disguise but you played along and i could’ve sworn that you knew we met in a movie we were pretending all this time just acting
3.
MEMPHIS 03:28
dahlia called up earlier said she’d make me dinner cause now you know you hold my interest but i was stuck in headphones on a bus knew you were playin rufus starin gently out the window comin home it’s a long way to memphis and this car won’t get us close but mostly i just want to spend some time with you and we don’t have to talk you can just sleep while i drive last night we watched the rain fall little rings of silver later you drummed your fingers dreaming of the rivers in france and who you would end up with but i got stoned and listened to the bends it’s a long way to memphis and this car won’t get us close but mostly i just want to spend some time with you and we don’t have to talk you can just sleep while i drive if you wake to find we’re broke down in nowhere turn it up and let the battery run low
4.
pushed aside the feeling and that was wrong like if i moved i would improve all of these lonely songs why do i get restless, feel like moving on why do you ask me when i can’t give you an answer i know it’s not my turn to be the victim but really what does that mean if you’re tired, don’t wait alone i can be here all night but if you’re tired, don’t lie alone i can be gone in an hour i got back from memphis with a white streak in my hair you had the look of someone overlooking everything god, i missed the weather, but i didn’t miss the waiting and i didn’t miss the feeling like i’m overlooking everything i know it’s not my turn to be the victim i wish i knew what that means if you’re tired, don’t wait alone i can be here all night but if you’re tired, don’t lie alone i can be gone in an hour
5.
PATHLESS 04:23
over the canyon she’s high, waving her arms a silhouette over the water no one can claim her but someone still taught her to climb somebody’s losing a daughter oh sometimes a child wants to walk alone pathless, waiting for the world to explode or to turn, flood or to burn that’s how it ends, how it begins dyin to learn how to learn it goes slow, slow, slow this song goes out to my mom, worried i’m dead hitchhiking out on the highway callin her friends just to brag that her boy’s in a band prayin a good girl will find me but oh sometimes i just have to wander alone we’re born we live for show to be shown to begin to begin again we begin pathless
6.
twenty miles up vandeschere i’ll park inside the grass and watch the hillside get dark and rollin down my window I can feel the wild underneath burying my wheels and I guess I understand a little better now how lovin you is drowning in a field how I can break it down but I will never see out of this mystery so I left the hill for the orchards and the barn I stood and listened to the pounding of their hearts and I wondered if they thought about the day what does it mean what is this real estate sign that says for sale and I guess I understand a little better now how lovin you gets mixed up with success i get so afraid of selling you my failure i forget to give my best but i will never know you and i’m lying when i write this i don’t understand and if i fall in love it won’t be like i planned these aren’t my words they’re not my notes they’re not my songs they’re not my hands but i will never know you until i understand that i will never know you
7.
BRIDGE 02:42
if i kiss your mouth the bridge that we are making love could walk across a world we know is waking all we know of ocean is a pail of water hanging from a handle we hold salt-water in a desert that we always wander baby, baby, i thought you’d know this of course won’t last but stay just for the evening years from now we’ll ask was our love worth believing listen, i get scared of what i can’t control but i suppose that you already know no one said you can’t do better on your own but i’m afraid i don’t want you to go so if i kiss your mouth the dream we are unwaking love could mend or cross the hearts we might be breaking
8.
BLEEDING 02:36
one more step and you’ll be dead she sits down beside the ledge, overcoat over her legs she holds a candle to her chest and she would light it, but the satellites would see why can’t i please everyone and why am i always bleeding all over everyone it’s harder to breathe when you speak for me i wish just once i could be right, she said, but not about the suicides or aliens, or violent dreams i wish you knew i knew the truth, but this shit comes out so different than the news why can’t i please everyone and why am i always bleeding all over everyone it’s harder to breathe when everyone speaks for me well i’m not tryin to ease your mind, when you leave tonight be careful who you’re talking to and why and don’t be different don’t be strange, don’t even speak if you make waves we don’t need new ideas if they don’t please everyone
9.
NOCTURNE 07:12
lady, left your lover in the rosebeds dangling underneath the hanging vine with his shirt unraveled and his hair down dreaming of his lover at his side lady, met your lover in the winter watching other fireplaces burn huddled there together while the wind turned waiting for the season to turn love is like a hornet, waiting underneath the snow delicate and dangerous but slow enough to hold it’s easier to handle when your hands are not so cold she was just a baby when i found her wandering the white december hills whispering the cold would never leave her whispering my fortune to me still love is like a hornet, waiting underneath the snow delicate and dangerous, but slow enough to hold it’s easier to handle when your hands are not so cold it’s easier to suddenly let go
10.
words come out when the mood is right there’s a broken room from the mood last night just like you got turned like the bedroom drawers like a dance we learned on a hardwood floor just like everything’s fine hate this hate i would love my life if the man I was wasn’t someone I’m just like everything’s fine.
11.
EULOGY 03:31
goodbye brother david and goodbye my james-john the poison that you drank from is blood that i belong to and stars keep on exploding a million miles away and bodies break and die and feed the living part of me two northwest boys are born in riverbeds and tanglewood trees summer jobs, pretty girls, and baseball, and evenings cheap the older boy was born to play the music, born to really see his brother listened to the pictures, and told me what they mean and one by one we killed the new year, we drank the wine glass dry fallin down, and tryin to get back on the ceiling, where the world’s not black and white yellin at the rainclouds that the earth is still as pretty as the sky i don’t remember who was wrong, i can’t remember right goodbye brother david and goodbye my james-john the poison that you drank from is blood that i belong to and stars keep on exploding a million miles away and bodies break and die and heal the living part of everyone i overlooked and everything i didn’t say remember me and every time i think i’m getting better, i’m slain

about

Poison I Drank From, my first official album, was written during 2002. It followed up a demo of even older songs called Home Is A Place People Leave--of which from 2001-2002, I handed out (literally) thousands--the covers each individually made with newspaper clippings. P.I.D.F. was my first foray into full-band arrangements of BF songs, and it continues to be nostalgic for me. It was released at Artichoke Backgate Stage in Portland on April 11, 2003.

credits

released April 11, 2003

Written, produced, and performed by Bryan Free, engineered and mixed by Kris Crummet at Interlace Audio in Hillsboro, OR. Mastered by Moe Morales at Superdigital in Portland, OR. Jason Schwanz played electric and upright bass; tenor sax by Bret Vogel. Additional vocals by Laura Duzett. Art by Brandon Buerkle.

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